Cultivating safety within your inner world is a superpower. If you feel safe as yourself and within yourself, then there’s nothing that you can’t tackle. Inner safety requires feeling self-assured, confident and having a solid sense of self trust. This is not a level you reach and then you get the prize, internal safety needs to be nurtured constantly. It starts with your thoughts and beliefs about who you think you are. True confidence is a reliance on your values and chosen beliefs, not those that have saturated you during your upbringing.
Are you who you are supposed to be?
If you ask that to yourself, you are asking the wrong question. If we are supposed to be something, then we are limiting ourselves to a preconceived idea; it is self-judgment. Stop running to the future, you’ll get there, take a look at yourself now. Try this question instead:
Have I accepted myself?
Safety comes when you accept your own uncertainty, knowing that no matter what happens, you feel it in your bones that you are powerful. You forged a strong bond with yourself; you become your own best friend. It may sound paradoxical- why would you need to put effort into understanding yourself if you are yourself? More often than not, we grow into adults with a faulty perception of our needs and wants. It takes intention and effort to unwind the spiral that we unknowingly drew based on our life situation.
Acceptance is a continuous process- it is embracing your past mistakes, welcoming your unknown future and savoring the current moment.
Inner safety is giving permission to exist- taking up space, allowing emotions to flow through and out, recognizing boundaries and not letting fear dictate who you are. Fear is vital to us, it keeps us safe from running out into traffic, but sometimes it bleeds into sections of our lives that restricts us from truly living. In order to conquer the unhealthy fear, it has to be accepted. Fighting against our innate workings is futile. Redirect that energy.
This is not discounting any trauma, shame, anger, anxiety, grief or despondency. If you experience any of these, they are meaningful, they are your body and mind alerting you to a concern; they are typically protection. However, not all of these can co-exist with true safety, which is why it’s important to not be afraid of yourself and take inventory of what you feel and experience. Here are some questions to guide you*:
What brings you meaning? What are your values? What is fulfilling to you? What is your hardest, deepest, darkest core belief about yourself? What brings you joy, peace and relief? What motivates you to get up in the morning? What kind of fear keeps you from doing what feeds your soul? What activity grounds you?
Isn’t it wonderful to think that your own mind, body and spirit can be exactly what you need to face the world? That it’s possible to create a cocoon that replenishes you and energizes you? Let’s normalize discussing safety, because it includes talking about the ugly, in order to reach empowerment. Inspire yourself and you will inspire others.
- For more in-depth discovery questions, download a free guide here.